Demoted

As if being named after the ruler of the dead in the icy wasteland of Hades was not diminution enough, scientists this past week reduced Pluto to the status of {gasp} a "dwarf" planet. I'm not sure how Pluto feels about this status reduction, but I'm certain that dwarves cannot feel at all pleased by the fact that this is the term chosen to suggest something "lesser than."

"According to the new rules a planet meet three criteria: it must orbit the Sun, it must be big enough for gravity to squash it into a round ball, and it must have cleared other things out of the way in its orbital neighborhood. The latter measure knocks out Pluto and Xena, which orbit among the icy wrecks of the Kuiper Belt, and Ceres, which is in the asteroid belt.
Dwarf planets only have to be round."

I forsee a rash of similar downgradings: "dwarf SUVs" to refer to things like RAV4s; "dwarf football teams" to refer to college football; "dwarf dogs" for those things Paris Hilton likes to carry around; "dwarf literature" for what used to be called "novelettes"; and perhaps "dwarf Presidents" for when one's ego and one's passionate supporters far exceed one's real capabilities or stature.